original waffle

It’s all part of the game; ask Turok. In fact, Therizinosaurs grew up to 30 feet in length. Plus, they had giant claws and their name means “scythe lizard,” which conjures the image of a cloaked Grim Reaper with foot-long teeth and a reptilian tail.

Yet none of that changes the fact that these were basically giant turkeys. Or zebra-turkeys, depending on what tactic the illustrator used to try and make them look less awkward.

Preferred Method of Dispatch: As the geeky fatasses of the late Cretaceous, Therizinosaurs don’t have much going for them in a fight besides those ungainly claws and their ability to fall on you. My advice would be to hurl some rocks at their tiny heads, then run in a zig-zag pattern until they topple over or clothesline themselves on a low-hanging limb.

May 29 2009

when in doubt, pull out

Sex researcher Rachel Jones recently published a report finding that the ‘pulling out method’ is nearly as effective as using condoms in preventing pregnancy. Good news for all you guys and gals hoping to avoid having one in the oven, and bad news for all you pregos who said it wouldn’t work. Anyway, I’ll let the ABC News article tell you the rest:

The act of withdrawal — the male pulling out before ejaculation — is a long controversial method of birth control, one many sex education classes have condemned as risky.

But Jones’ findings, based on several studies and data from the Guttmacher Institute, a nonprofit organization focused on sexual and reproductive health where she is a senior research associate, were just the opposite.

Her studies found that in perfect use — meaning the man pulls out every time — withdrawal has a 4 percent failure rate, as compared to condoms, which have a 2 percent failure rate.

“But nobody’s perfect,” said Jones, who published her commentary in the June issue of Contraception magazine.

In typical use, when used consistently and correctly, coitus interruptus and condoms have an 18 and 17 percent failure rate, respectively.
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