original waffle

It’s all part of the game; ask Turok. In fact, Therizinosaurs grew up to 30 feet in length. Plus, they had giant claws and their name means “scythe lizard,” which conjures the image of a cloaked Grim Reaper with foot-long teeth and a reptilian tail.

Yet none of that changes the fact that these were basically giant turkeys. Or zebra-turkeys, depending on what tactic the illustrator used to try and make them look less awkward.

Preferred Method of Dispatch: As the geeky fatasses of the late Cretaceous, Therizinosaurs don’t have much going for them in a fight besides those ungainly claws and their ability to fall on you. My advice would be to hurl some rocks at their tiny heads, then run in a zig-zag pattern until they topple over or clothesline themselves on a low-hanging limb.

Feb 11 2009

My first job: sales

My first job was as a lowly telemarketer where I was supposed to sell credit cards to people who couldn’t afford them. Aside from sticking to the obnoxious and mechanical script of prepared responses to people’s various objections of why they didn’t need another card, I couldn’t handle the job because it was painfully boring. Speaking of painful, I only lasted ten days since I soon had my wisdom teeth removed and my mouth was swollen shut making me unable speak well for a few weeks and causing my termination.

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